A Eulogy for Mr. Reagan From a Secret Admirer

I would first like to commend Restlessgeist for pubishing this letter. All the major dailies refused and I couldn't even get a spot at his state funeral, imagine that (especially after all I did for America in the 1980s in their fight against the Soviet infidels!). Now I never met Mr. Reagan, but his generosity to me and my friends knew no bounds, he and his allies helped supply me with the organizational capabilities, weapons and training where I got my start. Now I am a rich man myself, but nothing compared to the wealth of the CIA, a little of which Mr. Reagan helped put at my disposal. For this, I must take time out and thank him. The group of people I lead, let's just call it AQ, does not shrink from thanking those who helped us get our start, and I can think of no person who had more to do with this than good ole' Ronny. Don't get me wrong, I am no fan of America, but the late great Mr. Reagan was a special case. His brilliant understanding of foreign policy allowed me and my movement to prosper (hey, at least we weren't and still aren't evil commy pinkos, right Ronny!). Really, our world views were not that dissimilar, we both know that there exists pure, unadulterated evil in this world and that both of our respective lives have been blessed with the chance to stamp out such evil. While we perhaps do not share the exact same definition of where this evil lies, our similarities in outlook and interest crossed enough that I must consider him a friend. In fact, without him, I probably would still be living in luxury in one of my family's palaces, sinning and desecrating God instead of waging the most important war this earthly world has ever known. I have many other influences, and I certainly don't want to give the Gipper too much credit, but really, his help in our little war against the evil Soviets allowed us to grow, prosper and become the important force we are today. For this President Reagan, I thank you, what you did for our cause can not be expressed in words or numbers.
Sincerely and with the utmost respect,
O.B. Laden